I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
