did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
