Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize