dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
