You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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