Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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