I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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