He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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