He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
