I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
