Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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