"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
