If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
