I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
