you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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