I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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