Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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