Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
