At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
