so that wasnt chicken after all
I looked at my own cervix.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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