Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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