There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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