i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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