Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I love having hate sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
