Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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