just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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