So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
