oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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