Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
