I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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