I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Someone shit on the floor
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
