His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
