she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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