If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
