You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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