she woke up with a sticky ear
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
