dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
