Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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