HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
