I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
someone get that fucking seahorse.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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