I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
