did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
