If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
