were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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