The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she pinky promised me she was 18
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
