I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
