My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
