He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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