Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
