I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
