was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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