She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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