Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
