I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Thank you for not boning my boss.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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