He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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