yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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