I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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