I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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