Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Alive.
So much puke
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
