I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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