I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
